Jordan Randall Shares Her Abbey Program Vision Quest

I’ve always been a big dreamer, and ever since freshman year, traveling abroad with the Abbey program has been one of those big dreams. But after freshman year as a theatre major, I came back to “reality” (as my mother called it) and changed my major from something that I love— theatre -- to something that I’d like and make a living at. Switching my major to interior design really threw off the four year plans that I’d made when I started college, and because I’d already be behind in the design program, I made the decision to write The Abbey out of my four-year itinerary. Sophomore year began and I gave Interior Design all my effort. I loved it, and I wasn’t half bad either. I was excited for the next few years in the program. Then I met Dr. Mackaman. It wasn’t a typical “Study Abroad Informational Session,” at least I didn’t think it was. He came to my Business and Professional Speaking class as a “guest speaker” that we were assigned to analyze. When he introduced himself and explained that he was going to speak to us about The Abbey Program, the dreams of studying abroad rushed to the front of my mind. But knowing that it wasn’t practical or “realistic,” I pushed the dreams aside and pulled out a piece of paper so I could jot down notes about his presentation.
“Passionate. Emphatic. Uses his hands a lot.” These were all things that I wrote during his presentation. While I was trying desperately to focus on the assignment at hand, I couldn’t help but to feel compelled to have the experience that Dr. Mackaman was describing to the class. Eventually, I stopped taking notes and started listening. Really listening. Not so much to Dr. Mackaman’s description of Paris Week or Normandy, but listening to what I really wanted and what having that would mean. “Jordan, you can’t leave for a semester. A. You don’t have eight thousand dollars. B. You have responsibilities here in the States. And C. You will have to be in school two extra semesters to make up for what you’d miss.” I kept trying to talk myself out of the ridiculous idea that studying abroad for a whole semester was financially and academically justifiable. Then there came the emotional aspect of things: “How are you going to be away from your family for 3 months?? Are things going to be the same with everyone when you get back?? What if Maw Maw dies? You’d never forgive yourself for not being here.” All of these things, as trivial as they may seem, were troubling me for several days after Professor Mackaman’s presentation. I thought and prayed about it and made the decision to just do it. I paid the deposit on the program without even hinting anything to my parents, and then started applying for scholarships and working with financial aid. Everything started falling together. Except for one little detail; I hadn’t exactly told my parents. About a month after I paid the deposit, I invited them up to Hattiesburg and took them out to dinner. As smoothly as I possibly could, I said, “Mom, Dad, there’s something I need to tell you.” The looks on my parents faces read, “I’m gonna kill whatever boy got her pregnant” and “Dear God, where’s the tattoo?” I told them that I’d be spending the Spring semester studying in France (knowing asking for permission would’ve led to a big, fat "NO"), and they didn’t take it well. At all. But I knew they’d eventually come around, or at least I hoped so.
The week leading up to February 12th is still a little fuzzy. I remember being alarmingly calm about the fact that I was about to move to a foreign country for three months. I packed (not well, might I add) and then at 3:30 AM on February 12th, left for the airport. That’s when it hit me. “I’m really doing this.” When I got past security, I lost it. I was really leaving everything that I knew and loved behind for some ridiculous escapade in France. What an idiot. At this point, Charlotte, full of compassion, called me “cry pants” and threw a travel-size pack of tissues at me. We spent six dreadful hours in the Houston Airport, where I gave considerable thought to jumping a plane back home. At this point, I was pushing my comfort zone. In the past, dreaming big things had been easy and comfortable. But reaching those dreams? Frightening.
When we were told we’d be meeting with Dr. Mackaman about our “Vision Quests,” I had absolutely no idea what mine would be (mostly because I didn’t understand the concept.) When we were talking, much of what I said was “I’d love to dot dot dot, but I’m not really comfortable doing that.” We both came to the conclusion that stepping outside of my comfort zone was clearly going to be a task for me over the next couple of months.
Where as many people may have completed their vision quests over spring break, mine was/ has been a much more gradual process. Once I became comfortable here, I fell in love with France and all of Europe really. I began to step out of my comfort zone little by little, and I loved feeling so empowered. Because I loved it so much, I just knew I’d come back. “I could make a living over here,” I told myself. I was convinced that my heart belonged in Europe. I even told my mother that I was moving to France and possibly going to grad school in Paris. She took that news just about as well as she took my coming on the Abbey. I love my family, but didn’t really miss home. I was made for Europe, I thought. I thought I was so grown up.
When we set off for Paris Week, I was really excited and anxious to see all kinds of different places and excited to prove that I could live on my own (without my Abbey family) for a period of time. When Spring Break started, I was ready. Annah, Nathan, and I headed to Barcelona. After several days in Barcelona, Annah and I met up with Jenny and Elizabeth in Rome. After Rome came Florence. Then Vicenza, Venice, and Verona. Then back to the Abbey.
My spring break was definitely one to remember. It was full of laughter, tears, and special moments shared between now inseparable friends.
But looking back on Spring Break, and my time at the abbey, more than the beautiful scenery, attractive men, incredible instructors, and fun nights with friends, I’ll remember how much I learned—about myself and about life. Without testing friendships, I never would’ve learned how strong they truly are. I’ve learned to always seize the moment. I’ve realized how much you can learn if you stop talking and start listening. I know now that I need to stop taking myself so seriously and start believing in myself more. I know that I’m capable of anything I put my mind to and the dreams that I’ve had for so long don’t have to remain dreams forever. They have the possibility to become reality—Just like The Abbey. I’ve also learned that no matter what the future holds, whether it be singing and dancing my way onto Broadway, having my own design show on HGTV, or living my life in a small town, I’ll be happy and able to flourish as long as I’m with the people I love.
I never would have thought before coming on this trip that I’d be able to accomplish the things that I have. Coming here has impacted my life so drastically, and I can sincerely say that I will never be the same. This ancient Abbey will always hold a special place in my heart, as will each and every one of you here. We’ve all experienced something very special and almost magical, something I can never ever forget.